Mental Block

WARNING!!!  today’s post is going to consist of me whining about different things in my life and a lot of negativity.  Haven’t been feeling very optimistic lately.  I have been dealing with a serious case of mental block.  It feels like I have zero control over it and it’s holding me back.  I can’t find a way to complete a task and for some reason that’s driving me insane.  

Today I had planned to go out and run a hard 8-mile run with a local running group. But instead I decided to listen to the little voice of negativity in my head and didn’t go hard.  Don’t get me wrong, I did enjoyed the run.  I got to talk to some of the guys in the group and had a pretty good time, but the problem is that my goal for the day was to run hard and see where I’m at.  It felt like I wasted a workout.

I feel like running should be helping me release stress and with all the other positive things people say running helps with.  But in reality that’s not the way things are going.  Running sucks! and is making me feel miserable. I guess I forgot how hard I have to work and how long it takes to get faster. When I got back to it I came with the wrong mentality. I wasn’t expecting it to take me this long to gain some of the speed/endurance I once had.  I’m not even close to being in shape and I’m already feeling burned out.  I know, I know…I need to stop being a pussy about it. just do the work and wait for the results to come.

Next thing I want to whine about is music.  I was super pumped to see Young the Giant for the first time ever.  Well, I was disappointed with their performance. They were out of sync.  At some points it sounded like they never played together before.  Usually that happens when members are drunk/high or haven’t played together very much.  That wasn’t their case, they didn’t look drunk or high and they have been playing together for awhile so I don’t know what happened there. Maybe I should consume way more alcohol next time…  In a positive note I will be watching The Smashing Pumpkins tonight and I can’t wait for them to play some real music.  

The next thing in the list: no other than this blog.  I tried posting something the last two days and had no luck.  I knew what I wanted to write about but couldn’t put it together.  I know I don’t have to update it everyday but nothing pisses me off more than not being able to type what I have on mind.  It seems like I have it all figured out and then POW!! its all gone.   

Well, have an amazing weekend and don’t let my negativity rub off on you. 

34 comments

  1. Julia Manuel

    I honestly don’t find you’re being negative…just true to where you’re at and I’m totally okay with that. Still helps to get to know you better how you feel what’s on your mind ☺

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  2. Marija

    Like any other block, it’ll pass. You’re experiencing a little bit of everything. Mind block, writer’s block and no positive push on your back. I hope it all get’s better next week!

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  4. hugsxheart

    It’s normal to feel that way, I know. There are days when I have ideas but I don’t have the energy to put it in words, maybe it’s because of the holidays and end of the year that I feel extra lazy and dull haha! You’ll find the motivation soon enough just think positive ;D

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  6. The City Hippie

    Thanks for keeping it real. It’s nice to hear the struggles of others because life is a good deal of struggle.
    Running – your goals and expectations are set too high! Cut it in half and don’t make it a REQUIREMENT. It’s. It not fun. You wasted nothing because you gained a lesson!
    Blog. I cannot even tell you how many of my posts are written in an utterly capricious manner. Actually I can… Almost all of them. My brain is wired to over analyze things and if I don’t just WRITE nothing will get done. Let go. Don’t think so much, about running, or writing, or life, or whatever is bothering you right now. (No one knows that’s easier said than done more than I do but try..) and know you are not alone. Cheers and extra love!

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  8. energywriter

    IMHO, you are putting too much stress on yourself. Make a goal to run for fun and fitness. If you do a marathon, good. If not, it’s still good. Music – what a drag. Don’t have anything to say about that. Hope the Smashing Pumpkins were great. Saw in today’s paper that one of the SP is performing solo here soon. Writing comes when your mind is in the right place. Beating yourself up is not the right place. ‘Nuf said. Have a great evening, relax and all will be fine in the morning. sd

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  9. prior

    well I know what you mean with the running. My husband takes the dogs with him when he jogs and they freak out to go. They are trained but once in a while they jump to see the running leashes emerge. They wag and pant and get all excited to jog with him. I told my husband, “I wish I could be half as excited about running – I wish”
    🙂

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  10. charlypriest

    Can´t be positive all days I guess, if you are then your probably superhuman. What I do know is that running, so the experts say anyways, for people that are feeling “down” it helps stimulate certain parts of the brain and makes you get off hour behind and do something instead of lying in be all day. But you did manage to go and run instead of not doing so, so that´s a plus my man.Most people if they felt “down” would say, screw it, I´m not going today. But you did.

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  11. nicolesundays

    Aw 😦 I definitely feel you on the not being able to adequately pen your feelings (not the running part, of course, since my stamina has always been pitiful). Hope you feel better–we all have our days.

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  15. Cloud

    Hope you feel less negative since that post 😉 After every ‘down’ there is a ‘up’. I think your negative voice was still pretty positive to let you go for a run My negativity voice would not have let me go out for that run ;-)what a great picture.

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  16. markbialczak

    Damn, kid, you sucked and so did the people around you that were depending upon to pull you out of your sucky frame of mind, and that made it all suck worse, and then your writing mind went on suck-up-underdrive.

    Welcome to the real world. Suck it up and everything will come back in one big wave. Just like the last time, right? Nevertheless … sorry you had to go through this go-round.

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  17. taraleigh2020

    Young the Giant sucks live? Now I’m depressed. Just kidding. I think we all have times where we just need to vent. The negative days, makes the positives ones, that much sweeter.

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  19. JoAnne Silvia

    It’s okay to listen to your body (and mind) sometimes. Maybe your body was fighting off a virus or trying to work something out. This happens to me a lot now that I pay attention. I feel run down and my body needs rest. A little exercise can be stimulating, but don’t push if you don’t feel like it. There will be other days when you are ready to push and enjoy it. (I’m resisting the urge to respond to your comment about drinking more alcohol to enjoy the music. But, I guess I did just respond. I’m just not letting the substance abuse counselor part of me say anything < shut up! You're not at that job! ) About the writing, that's why we can save a draft, to work on it more later. But sometimes it's okay to just put it out there. I appreciate your honesty!

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  20. Tolerable but not tempting

    Yep,sometime you feel exactly that. I sometimes hit that low and I look up to where I think I should be and it just seems so overwhelming. But in time….it always passes. Then you are standing on the top of the mountain again. The air feels fresh and that road doesn’t look to bad. 🙂 I say the holidays can be tough and stressful. Most of my clients have it hard this time of year and sometimes they have no clue why.

    I look forward to when you are feeling much better and running is a breeze. 🙂

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