I have been looking for a mofo crazy enough to be my running buddy for almost two months without luck. I don’t even have high standards. I don’t care if he/she is fast or slow as long as he/she can cover the distance. Actually, now that I think about it, I do have a list of qualities a running buddy should have.
What do I look for when trying to find a running buddy? Well, I look at a lot of things..
1. Numero uno is the most important one. He/she has to be crazy enough to listen to me talk during the entire run. I’m not kidding about this one. I can and will talk the whole way. I sometimes listen but most of the times I am the one doing most of the talking.
2. My running buddy has to be comfortable with me burping and occasionally farting. My body likes to get rid of gas when I run. I guess that’s a normal thing every runner goes through. The only difference is that I’m a strong believer of: “Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine and into your brain. That’s where shitty ideas come from…” so I release everything.
3. He/she has to be comfortable to call me out when I occasionally change the pace. I don’t know why I do it. Something inside me triggers and I start running a little faster than what we are supposed be running. I do appreciate it when someone calls me out on it right away. It saves me from feeling like crap a mile or two later. Jacob is pretty good at calling me out.
4. Headphones? You better not even think about it. I would round kick the crap out you. I don’t understand why people do that. I find it sad when I see a group of people running and instead of having a conversation they are listening to whatever crap is coming from their headphones.
5. He/she better have a sense of humor. I’m pretty immature and most of the times I say whatever is on my mind. If you are easily offended there is a chance we won’t work out. If you trip and fall expect me to laugh about it while giving you a hand up. Pretty much be able to laugh at yourself and don’t get butt hurt when something silly happens.
6. Be positive. Running is hard enough so don’t bring your negativity. Be positive and be happy with your progress. Even if you trained all year long and only got a couple of seconds faster. Progress is progress…
7. This one is pretty important. Be on time. If for some reason you are not going to make try to let me know in advance so I don’t waste my time waiting for you to show up. Something that rustles my jimmies is when I don’t get my run done in the morning because we are supposed to run later in the evening and the mofo cancels at the last minute. It gets me every freaking time.
8. Don’t race me. We are supposed to be running together not racing each other. Nothing kills a workout more than someone who always wants to be one step ahead. It freaking blows my mind and probably will earn you a whack behind the head (notsrs).
I can’t think about more qualities so I’ll end it here. Anyone wants to be my running buddy?